No! Just the opposite! I don't believe that anyone was born with any interpersonal skills ready-made and so we have to learn them. But we aren't necessarily aware that we are learning. The people who seem to be "naturals" are simply those who started to learn their special skill very early in life and weren't conscious of the process - it just seemed natural to them.
The world around you is largely out of your direct control. The further away events are from your immediate circle of people and activities, the less influence you have. If you take an interest in current affairs, it's easy to get exasperated - to feel helpless. There are many things you think are wrong and "should" be changed. But you feel powerless to influence any of them.
In the end, we're talking about a state of mind - your mind! And you can choose not to allow your state, your mood, to be determined by what's happening around you.
Now that isn't easy! If it were then everyone would be choosing to feel how they want to feel and there'd be no need for gurus and coaches. But anyone can learn how to take more control of their own thinking and emotions and then, with practice, get better and better at doing it.
The tools and techniques you need are available from many sources and come in a range of "flavours". Mine are based on Neuro-Linguistic Programming and incorporate some quite simple, almost self-evident principles about how we are shaped by our own thinking patterns and how those patterns are formed - and can be modified.
through life without being seriously embarrassed!"). I thought I could fulfil my role by concentrating on the technical work that my team was doing
maybe the role doesn't look very different from what you were doing before. You think that it's a matter of continuing to do your old job plus telling
others what to do. You might accept that you're required to help team members when they have problems - after all, as the leader you must be
War, climate change, religious intolerance and competition for resources: even from the perspective of a safe, western country the world seems to be a dangerous and disturbing place. And although history is full of examples of violent conflicts, we might have thought we'd grown out of this way of doing things and peaceful, democratic change was the modern norm. But now we are seeing civil wars and bloody power struggles all over the world. So to dwell on how I feel about it all, from a safe distance, when there are millions of people living and dying, caught up in those conflicts, seems a bit presumptuous.
The need to negotiate comes up all the time, not just in business or politics. Everywhere, from in-family arrangements (who's cooking / washing up / driving the kids to parties) to buying a car or changing jobs, you are likely to get into a negotiation. You may not always realise you're doing it but you are, and it really helps to be good at it.
Questions about how I can help?
or using the form below or phone me on 01751 417765. I'm always delighted to talk about what I do because I love doing it! And even more than talking, I'll be delighted to listen to you and to hear what your plans are,
... or help with the problems you're experiencing,
